HAUNTED HOUSE REVIEWS
HAUNTED ATTRACTION
ROB ZOMBIE'S GREAT AMERICAN NIGHTMARE
Ohio Valley Haunts
RATING: 9+
Category:  Professional Venue
Reviewed 9/5/14
Rob Zombie's Great American Nightmare
LOCATION & ADMISSION INFO:
Odeum Expo Center
1033 N. Villa Ave
Villa Park, IL  60181
Fri/Sat Sept. 26 - Nov. 1 7 PM - Midnight
Thurs/Sun beginning Oct. 12 7 - 10 PM
$30 ($25 online) - VIP includes T-shirt
VIP 1 $45 ($36 online) - faster access
VIP 2 $60 ($50 online) - immediate access
Haunt of 1,000 Corpses The Lords of Salem El Super Beasto 3D
REVIEW
THE LORDS OF SALEM:   The opening leg of the Great American Nightmare experience commences outside a three-story façade of a spooky looking apartment building identified only by a sign that reads The Lords of Salem.  The unnerving chant of a mysterious woman beckons patrons inside, and sets up an early warning from Reverend Hawthorn proclaiming, "The war's going on in Heaven! Are YOU on the winning side" as frightening music fills the air coercing innocent women to experience surreal visions that result in a ritual of human sacrifices witnessed by the sight of a mass suicide that finds their lifeless, naked bodies piled on top of each other like useless rubbish!  A majestic, illuminated cross summons the way into an area where, "Welcome to Hell" is adorned on an upcoming wall, along with pentagrams, and "The name is Satan, ruler of the Earth," as the course fades into complete darkness.  "Firecrackers" pop, more eerie music assaults the senses, unstable floors shit about beneath one's feet, and various demons materialize out of the lightless underworld abode.  Shock walls complicate navigation that exits through a claustrophobic passage at the entrance to part II of the excursion - El Superbeasto 3D
EL SUPERBEASTO 3D The second segment Rob Zombie's Great American Nightmare takes place in the 3-D environment of Monsterland, where scantily clad girls immediately direct entrance into a spinning vortex that's chaperoned by a ghostly apparition and dumps into flourescently painted walls featuring the likenesses of nude women that encourage a conflict with former masked Lucha Libre wrestler El Superbeasto and his trusty sidekick Susi-X.  Progression exposes a living chair surprise, a movie casting desk that splits apart of its own volition, a "dollar dancer" bending over beneath a table (wink), and a half-naked stripper suggestively inviting passersby to "Play a game" that turns out to be a decapitation station!  Maneuvering past dressing room doors belonging to Mike Hunt, Kenya Swallow, Alotta Bush, Harry Cox, Rosie Palm, Velvet Von Black (El Superbeasto's obsession that has the mark of the Devil tattooed on her behind), etc., leads to a bungee surprise, then another unexpected startle that originates from a cigarette girl.  Continuance across a colorful wooden bridge accesses an area decorated with skulls and burning flames that gives rise to a devious encounter with a giant green creature with a testicular abnormality that ends with another unpredictable surprise.  From there, its on past a pole dancer to conflicts with a one-legged, red monster and his 3-D cohort, and subsequent chase-out that leads to the entrance of Haunt of 1000 Corpses
HAUNT OF 1000 CORPSES: Arrival at the concluding leg of the 3-part adventure finds Captain Spaulding hurling insults from amid his theater lobby of popcorn, cotton candy, creepy souvenirs, museum of monsters and madmen, and his "wall of shame" that displays pictures of infamous murderers.  Signs advertise, "Experience real life horror, Murder ride," and "Fried Chicken and Gasoline" just like in the movie, before the foul-mouthed clown demands, "Are you ready for terror and pain?"  Entrance is gained through the mouth of a giant skull as doors marked "No turning back," open on their own accord, and octopus tentacles complicate advancement onto the Asylum Door CGI that witnesses the imprint of numerous axe impacts on surrounding walls foreshadowing the emergence of the live killer clutching onto her blood-dripping weapon!  Fleeing through a decrepit kitchen, the course stumbles upon a gathering of women weeping by a fireplace mourning the 1965 disappearance of Nancy Smith as the adventure embarks upon a journey that revisits popular horror films from years gone by.  Hidden monsters deliver unexpected attacks encouraging continuance beyond the sight of a slaughtered body suspended from above, and gushing blood into a bathtub alongside The Red Queen a.k.a. The Queen of Hearts demanding "the blood of all virgins," while anguishing over her need to "bathe in their blood!"  Living statues protect progression into an old Son of Sam work shack guarded by a talking dog adamant to "Kill, kill, KILL!"  Blood-spattered walls and floors littered with dismembered body parts comprise décor as a diabolical member of The Firefly Family ingests the intestines of a dead corpse, then it's into House of Horrors, where Norman Bates recreates a scene from Psycho by tying a helpless victim to a chair!  Connection to a majestic courtroom conviction of Jeffery Dahmer yields across a wooden bridge to an area infested with enormous snakes and a giant crocodile that suddenly projects directly into the path!  Still to come are encounters with a young girl desperately reaching through a window attempting to elude some unknown wrath in advance of a horrific shotgun suicide!  Panels fall, lights flicker, and ceilings collapse as captives are forced into closets, and strapped to tables while pleading, "No, don't kill me," to no avail as Dr. Satan stuffs an ether rag into her mouth to shut her up!  Visiting the fog-filled streets of London quickly goes awry, when a promiscuous damsel offers "a good time," only to have her life snuffed out moments later by Jack The Ripper!  On the horizon is the scene of a ghastly murder that discovers the overanxious culprit eliminating witnesses one by one, then it's onto some sort of mental institution ruled by insane nurses, where glancing out a window results in an unexpected surprise, and a psychotic patient writes "Pig" on the wall while muttering to herself, "Chaos, confusion, control," and where, "Death is only an illusion!"  Waiting in the wings is a deadly Helter Skelter conflict with evil-eyed Charles Manson threatening, "Yeah, I shot them fat hogs!  I'm gonna chop up more of you mother f*ckers!  I'm gonna kill as many of you as I can," then announcing, "I'm Jesus Christ, whether you want to accept it or not!"  Narrowly escaping provokes a perverted altercation with "killer clown" John Wayne Gacy inflating an elongated balloon between his legs as he comments, "Whoop, there it is," in the presence of a pair of slaughtered Boy Scouts, one of whom has a plastic phallus jammed in his mouth!  Another mechanical surprise soon follows, as well as encroachments from crawling fiends grabbing at the legs of passersby, then it's onto an overwhelming "wreck" (as opposed to "rec") room that's being bounced around in the midst of a natural disaster, earthquake/tornado/Armageddon-like whirlwind that incites a dual chainsaw chase-out of Haunt of 1000 Corpses!
ROB ZOMBIE'S GREAT AMERICAN NIGHTMARE:   The overall experience begins outside of the haunt itself with a stroll down Bloody Boulevard consisting of wrecked cars, flame throwers, provocative dancers, freak shows, and live music.  Once inside, the attraction explores 3 differently themed events, all patterned and named after select Zombie films.  Roaming monsters terrorize the interior queue line, and the three segments discussed above flow directly from one into the next, thus the adventure is analyzed from a single haunt perspective.

Analysis:
LENGTH - 9+, 23½ minutes total (8 + 4½ + 11).
ACTORS - 9½, Costuming is outstanding from start to finish, and most encounters are filled with dialogue-enriched conversations! Manson is by far the best!  Crawler and Red Queen deserve honorable mention.  3-D "strippers" are likewise memorable due to their revealing attire.  A few violent acts towards fellow cast members and customers alike would perfect the score!  Total Characters = 53 (15 + 17 + 31) not counting roamers.
SCARINESS - 9+, Outstanding lighting compliments the experience, as does an ever present soundtrack that samples a portion of Zombie's discography in addition to some traditionally spooky audio enhancement.  Constant references to Satan, Hell, and death serve to intimidate during the opening and closing legs of the adventure.  Sandwiched in between is El Superbeasto 3-D, which isn't as frightening as its siblings, but is arguably the best attraction of its kind due to its promiscuous mood, scantily clad cast, and elaborate decoration that sets it apart from similarly themed events that insist on presenting a predominance of laughing, giggling clowns that undermine their effectiveness.  Atrocities are reserved for Haunt of 1000 Corpses, and include numerous mutilations, victimizations, and defilements.
DESIGN - 9+, Individually, the attractions are somewhat brief from an endurance standpoint with the 3-D event being significantly shorter than the rest.  However, the 3 segments flow together in the sense that upon exiting one, the next is entered, thus the overall experience feels more like one large haunt as  opposed to 3 individual venues except for a brief pause for the exploits of Captain Spaulding prior to the introduction of Haunt of 1000 Corpses.  Modern technological advancements are incorporated into the course as discussed below.  Set designs are appreciated for their realism exemplified by Dahmer's Courtroom, and the last room in Corpses, which is one of a kind.  Finish is a bit weak in El Superbeasto 3-D and needs to be replaced by some "over the top" sendoff.  Each attraction is based upon the Zombie penned, produced, and/or directed movie that bears its name, and Corpses similarly draws from a multitude of well known American  horror films. Zombie pushes the envelope showcasing bizarre, often barbaric horrors, and capitalizing in Superbeasto on the concept that "sex sells," while many other attractions are afraid to take their shows to this next level.
PROPS - 9½, Lots of high-impact, impressive props supplement décor throughout including CGI's, collapsing ceiling, illuminated cross, "firecrackers," shock skins, body gushing blood into bathtub, oversized snakes, mechanical gator, moving floors, living chair, splitting desk, vortex, and the mass confusion in the last room among all the mutilations.  About all that's missing are a few animatronic monsters whose presence would really seal the deal
VALUE - 8½, As the old saying goes, "you pay for the name," and that's the case here as well.  These are very solid attractions that combine to form one lengthier experience, but the price is a bit steep.  $30 is a lot to expect, but if you look at it as 3 different haunts, then it equates to only $10 per event.  Two different levels of VIP service are offered - a $45 ticket that grants "faster access" than general admission, and a $60 one that entitles the purchaser to "immediate" entrance.  Both include a Great American Nightmare t-shirt.  Try to purchase your tickets online if possible, and save yourself some money. 
RATING:  9+, An all-star build crew whips this show together in just a matter of weeks.  This year, Rob Zombie's Great American Nightmare expands to two distinct locations, this one in Villa Park, Illinois (a suburb of Chicago), and the other in Scottsdale, Arizona (near Phoenix) following 2013's solo city debut in Pomona, California (just east of Los Angeles).  These "sick, twisted" haunted houses may someday come to a city near you!  We were fortunate enough to visit on a night that Zombie was performing LIVE in concert!  If you ever get the chance to see him in person, by all means don't miss it!

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